I Wish it Wasn’t so Typical

This is a typical topic within the world that I wish wasn’t exactly so typical. I sometimes look back and wished that I could see what it was like to have that nuclear family. I’m sure it wasn’t always so nice, but neither is the way things are now. My parents should have gotten a divorce way before they had my third and final sister but they didn’t.

I am grateful that my parents stayed together for the time that they did, if they hadn’t my youngest sister wouldn’t even be here. I love all my sisters with all my heart, I would do anything for any of them. The toughest part of being an older brother through this all is that I stayed strong for them and let them grieve. It is hard to keep it together when your world seems to tumble down.

Getting into the whole story of the divorce and how it happened seems ridiculous. Seeing as I am the kid and I don’t know both sides of the stories fully, and I hope I never will.

As one of the oldest kids though I had one of the strongest grudges in this. I felt disgust towards both parents at some point during this last year that has past. There is always the parent that stays and the parents that has to leave the household. I mistakenly took my anger out on my mother and didn’t want to truly speak to her for months. A learned though that a marriage ends due to two people not just one.  I soon got mad at my dad quickly and decided I didn’t want to speak to him either.

It is very disappointing after a divorce because your parents at least mine both changed in my eyes. They were terrible to each other and both used lies to get ahead. Despite which side is telling the most truth I couldn’t tell and still can’t. I wish I could see everyone like they were before but it’s so difficult.

So why let all these things effect you in the way that they do, it’s not in your control and really shouldn’t make you feel terrible. I did that by accident and I wish I hadn’t, because it isn’t because of you. I love my parents I cannot stress that enough, but I’m not proud of the way that they have handled this at all.

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