GET OFF MY CAR!!! *Never leaving the house again*

You remember back last Saturday when I made ‘The Roots Dig Deep‘ this story is a result of that.

I decided to go out, I know I know, you’re probably thinking “Wesley don’t do that you’re much too pale to go out in the sun.”

To that I say, “Wow harsh much, but don’t worry it was night time.”


I love you moon!!!!

I went to a casino because who doesn’t like to do a little gambling when their down…I made forty bucks so don’t lecture me. That was the high point of the night, I had a nice rum and coke and stayed for an hour or two. I finally decided forty bucks was better than zero so I left.


After that I decided to go to a bar, I’m twenty one, I should go hang with my peoples right! RIGHT! But it was at this point in the night I figured out one crucial detail in the human condition, twenty one year olds…are idiots. I include myself in that, I mean I don’t think I’m an idiot but I’m sure I’ve done stuff that people find idiotish…idiotic?…Idiotic!

People were on the dance floor grinding it up to the point where I felt I was in a porno, I knew my people danced like this, but I enjoyed blocking it out. Yet despite that I didn’t put the night under ‘regretful’ or ‘a mistake’ no it was fine. I talked to a few people, when you’re sober and everyone around you is tipsy or drunk it’s easy to be confident. Seeing as you’re the only one able to walk a straight line at the time, it’s entertaining to say the least.

This is suppose to come off in a non creepy way, but people watching is hilarious, dammit that was creepy wasn’t it. I figured this out the first time I went to New York City when I was able sixteen years old. Sitting on a bench around Rockefeller Center is so peaceful, it’s way of being in public but also being with yourself. That is probably a good reason why I enjoy being at Barnes and Nobles so often, people don’t care, they just want to sit, relax, and read.

So at the bar, living it up to the extent I can possibly manage when the time comes that I want to leave and go home. You would think I could just go and get in my car and drive home, you would think. But a fine gentlemen decided that my car looked so comfortable that he decided to fall asleep on it. I wish I had a picture of this shenanigan, but here is what it basically looked like.

Guy on car

Hey pal, whatcha-whatcha doinnnnnn?

I didn’t yell at the guy, but he was much bigger than the gentlemen in the picture, so I couldn’t move him alone. Even if I was capable of doing so I still would have gotten a bouncer as I had, drunk people are crazy. We hoisted him to his feet and since the dude was still passed out the bouncer decided to put him on a DIFFERENT CAR! and goes “Here you go buddy you can lay here.”

You really diffused the situation there now didn’t you bouncer man…

I’m never leaving my house again.


2 thoughts on “GET OFF MY CAR!!! *Never leaving the house again*

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