There are a few things that I know my youngest sister will never understand because she was born in 2003…I think…it may have been 2004…
Que terrible big brother music!
Point is, that there a few things that she missed out on. Now I was born in 1994 so I was able to grow up with some amazing and some not so amazing childhood memories.
- Crank Car Windows
This is tricky because I can’t decided whether it is a good thing she missed out on this or not. As a kid I wanted them to fall into the pit of hell, I was a lazy kid, I didn’t want to have to use manual labor to get my window up and down. There is a part of me as an adult that misses it, especially when my automatic window opener breaks. Someone should really put crank fail safes for when stuff like this happens.
2. Saturday Morning Cartoons
This one saddens me somewhat because this time in my life was immaculate. Yes my sister had some residual 90’s cartoons stray into the early 2000’s but it wasn’t the same. Stuff like Pokemon and Yu-gi-oh as well as everything Cartoon Network ever released during this time period.
I like to watch some of these shows when I have time and then cry, because it ain’t ever coming back…
This got depressing…MOVING ON!!!
3. Flip Phones
I personal loved flips phones and believe them to be a better than smartphones for one reason. It’s fun to hang up on people using flip phones…everyone who ever owned a flip phone knows what I mean.
Me: Hey you wanna come outside and play.
Friend: Sorry man I can’t
Me: Why not!
Friend: I just can’t
Me: WHATEVER MAN!! *Snaps phone shut*
*Wes feels satisfied for the rest of the day*
I imagine if they were still popular today I would call people just to hang up right after they answer.
4. Cheap Movie Tickets
So I blame New York for this one, honestly it’s way to expensive to go to movies up in this state. Back when I was a kid though my family and I lived in Indiana, matinees were about 4.25 when I was a kid and I ended up going to a movie almost every weekend. I also lived in a neighborhood where all of my friends lived, so it was pretty easy to find someone to go with.
Now I spend 20 bucks just to get a ticket and some popcorn, and that is only for myself. It makes me cry, not in a depressed kind of way as the 90’s cartoon one does, but in a ‘FUCK THIS SHIT!’ kind of way.
There is totally a difference.
Last but certainly not least!!!!
5. Wonder Balls
Living in our day and age people would just tear this product apart with inappropriate jokes, to them I’d like to say…”I hate you” that is all.
I did some research for this one, I’m like a god damn professional, I should really get payed for this.
I found out that the Wonder Ball were released and discontinued on two separate occasions. The first time it was released it was called ‘Nestlé Magic Balls’ (Fuck every single person that laughed) and instead of candy actual held a toy figurine inside. It was either a Disney character or a Pokemon, it was discontinued due to the overwhelming complaints parents made about ‘Choking Hazards’. Some people may say that they were trying to keep their children safe, I believe that they just didn’t want their kids to have fun. Now this happened within the year of 1997 and would disappear until the year 2000
Now while everyone else in 1999 was freaking out about Y2K Nestle was sitting in their boardroom talking about how people were gonna freak out when Wonder Balls made a comeback. People did indeed freak out and not only did Wonder Balls make a comeback, but it also saved the world.
*Puts in a folder labeled ‘Fake History That Should Be True’*
The year is 2000 and Nestle released the ‘Wonder Ball’ back into the world with a new concept. Instead of a toy figurine inside it would hold a few pieces of candy that tasted basically like sweet tarts if my memory is correct. This lasted until 2004 when Nestle sold the Wonder Ball to a company known as Frankford, they later discontinued it.
It’s obvious that The Frankford Company are the devil in disguise.
There is certainly a lot more that I did not mention, these were just the top five things I thought were rather important.
Especially that Wonder Ball one, the child inside is still a bit salty about the whole thing.
I tell him to get over it all the time, but he keeps snapping his flip phone shut on me.
In all honesty he’s kind of dick.
Screw little kid me.