I have an obscene amount of lady bugs chilling in my house. Last night I was reading in bed and I noticed their shadows in my lamp shade. There were many that weren’t moving, though two of them were going crazy.
I imagine they were freaking out about all the dead brethren laying around them. I contemplated about releasing them, but then one of them walked over one of the corpses.
“You rude mother fucker, you shall perish for that.” I yelled and automatically assumed the tiny soul of a lady bug possessed me. Sadness hit me like a truck, not like actual sadness though, it was more of a fake ‘I CAN”T BELIEVE YOU!’ sadness.
“HE WAS YOUR FELLOW BUG!!! AND YOU STEPPED ALL OVER HIM.” I nearly fainted, and then they started buzzing around being really annoying.
I want to stop thinking about this, it’s just a reminder that I need to clean my lamp shade. I want to make a tiny sign and put it on one of the bodies stating ‘Caution Hot.’ but I’m sure all the bugs will be like ‘What kind of fucking language is that?” and then their eyes will widen and they yell ‘OH GOD WHAT LANGUAGE AM I SPEAKING?!?!?!?’