Fake Deer Massacre


I hate deer, and if you don’t then it means you’ve probably never had one destroy your car. If you have and you still like them and you say stuff like ‘I should have been paying more attention.’ or ‘It wasn’t the deer’s fault.’ Then you forgive to easily and you’ve probably turned into a vegetarian to repent for your deer killing sins.

Tragic fate.

As much as I hate deer though it isn’t even close to how much I hate people with fake deer decorations. I would be totally fine with them if they kept them close to their houses, but where I live I have NOT ONE but TWO ass hats. They put the deer right on the edge of the road, I have a heart attack every night coming home from work.

It’s awful!

Makes me wanna take a baseball bat to their stupid fake deer faces, WES SMASH!!! It’s like Hulk smash but not nearly as destructive or impressive. Why do you people do this? Is it a messed up New York thing? Do New Yorker’s love giving people many heart attacks? I never had to deal with this in Indiana! All I had to deal with there was corn, corn, and more damn corn.

Deer and fake deer decorations need to go back to their own personal room in hell where they belong! Don’t tell me that there isn’t a specific room because I am almost 100% sure there is, it’s probably between country music and hipsters.

*No offense to country music lovers. Complete offense to the hipsters.

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