Barber Shop Awkwardness

I’m an awkward person, I accept this, but I feel my most awkward traits come out during haircuts. Like I want a hair cutter? hair stylist? barber? I’m gonna go with barber, the word reminds me of men with curly mustaches.

I want a barber who is as socially awkward as I am, but I also get unlucky and get chatty Kathy’s. I feel bad whenever this happens because they try desperately to get me to talk.

Barber: What are you up to today.

Me: Getting…my haircut?

(Why do you all think we have plans for the rest of the day? Maybe getting our haircut was the highlight jeeeeeeez! Whoever gets a haircut right before anything important is doing it wrong. You always get a haircut a few days before said event, that way you have time to learn how to style it properly and not look like a joke! Wow this minor interruption turned into a full blown paragraph. It’s like aggressive herpes or something…not that I would know what that was like…you know what lets just move on.)

It doesn’t mean I don’t like you I swear, you’re probably a swell gal, I just suck at speaking while getting my haircut. It’s a problem. For some reason outside of that weird hair-cutting realm, I am given back my voice. I mean it’s still awkward, but at least it isn’t ‘getting your haircut’ awkward.

I have dandruff and honestly this time of year is harsh because of the dry weather, I always assume I’m being judged. I’ve tried everything in the god damn book to rectify this and no dice. I’m sure I blow it out of proportion, people say it’s not bad and it’s not like it’s noticeable. Unless I go into a laser tag arena, then it’s just embarrassing…I don’t play laser tag very often.

To all the barbers out there

“It’s not you it’s me.”

– Worst Breakup Line Ever

8 thoughts on “Barber Shop Awkwardness

  1. Oh, I am the same way. I want to zone out, please don’t talk while I am having you cut my hair. and yes, I am aware that black is not my natural color and that my roots are showing *gasp*

    (Love the new look and header!)

  2. Did you hear the news? There is no need to visit the barber shop now. Recent research revealed that when soldiers receive military haircuts they no longer have a ‘sixth sense’ and intuition. So they can’t see the signs of the universe and sense hidden information. Do you feel the same after your haircut?

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