Life would be much easier if it could be controlled by a remote. Last night I ate something that has now come back to haunt me, it would be nice to have that rewind button. Though that is only a simple and most recent example I have in my life. Of course underneath there are times where pausing life to just sit and think would be appreciated. The holidays have come and went so fast that I personally believe I blinked past most of it, I mean…we’re in 2016 now…what the hell?
The holidays were hectic probably for a lot of people, but I still found some time to sit in my room and reflect on the things I’ve lost. Sure that sounds depressing, but it’s certainly necessary within a healing process. Some situations in life hit you and then leave, like having a deer jump on your car, or opening a bookshelf ready to build it only to find that they forgot to give you the screws. (like wtf mate) Those are things that annoy us, but in the long run they don’t quite affect us in any real significant way. Sure I’ve come to hate deer, and sure I don’t trust the Walmart packing company anymore, but I’ve easily moved on.
Then there are situations that life throws at you that leaves a slow healing bruise, and by slow I mean find the slowest turtle you can and then cut that speed by half, then cut that speed by half. 2015 wasn’t just hard for a lot of it, but it was also quite painful for my family and I, we had to say goodbye to my Grandmother. As tough as it was it never prepared me for the reality around it all. I found myself, in the months following her passing, crying due to a reminder such as a hummingbird or a comment she left on this blog.
The most recent was obviously the holidays, it was tough going through it at time knowing she wasn’t at her home. I thought many times about how I would like to rewind time to spend some more of it with her. Pausing is what would I would like in these moments, to reflect on the things that are now faded, to the subtle pain I still feel. I find comfort in the fact that she is probably watching over me and our family from up above.
This was part of Linda G Hill’s ‘Stream of Consciousness Saturday’s‘ hopefully you all will take the time to join in. It’s fun and easy 😀